The asshole who wrote this is claiming that women who are voluntarily childfree are selfish losers. For some odd reason, the London School of Economics was doing this study. That doesn't make sense...
Satoshi Kanazawa says in his book that the desire to have children drops 25 percent for every 15 extra IQ points.
He had some strong words about childfree women:
If any value is deeply evolutionarily familiar, it is reproductive success. If any value is truly unnatural, if there is one thing that humans (and all other species in nature) are decisively not designed for, it is voluntary childlessness. All living organisms in nature, including humans, are evolutionarily designed to reproduce. Reproductive success is the ultimate end of all biological existence.
What about mental illnesses? Did he account for that, probably not?
We are not losers, we just want to control what happens to our bodies and our lives. We have an overpopulation problem anyway.
This was originally published on Liberal America on April 13, 2016.
Throughout history, there has been a lot of debate around the issue of women having children or not having children. Many women nowadays are making the choice to not have children at all. Almost half (49.6 percent) of women ages 25 to 29 are not having kids.
This Christian blogger, Brit Tashjian, has written a nasty post against this valid choice women are making: “Childless-By-Choice Women Are A Big Part Of Society’s Deterioration.”
Seriously?! Not every woman has to have kids to have a fulfilled life. There are a multitude of reasons women choose never to have kids, and we are not deteriorating society.
Tashjian goes on to say that women who don’t have kids are selfish as well. She even says you have to sacrifice and have kids to be a person of worth. Having a family is not the only way to contribute to society.
But, why are we still debating this issue today in 2016? Why do people put pressure on women to have babies with comments like “you’ll change your mind” or “you’ll regret it”? Just because we own uteri doesn’t mean we have to procreate to feel complete.
Some people are still stuck in the same gender roles of woman = mother, and man = breadwinner/authority. Women get SO much pressure to have children. Societal pressure, family pressure. It can be very frustrating.
There are some mothers out there who pressure their children to have children because “they want grandchildren.” Some young girls see all of their friends getting married and having babies and think that they are supposed to do the same thing. But, you don’t have to have kids just because your friends are. It helps to find friends that are also child-free. Hanging out with friends who have kids could make you feel left out of the loop if you don’t have any.
How do we deal with this pressure? Simply stick to your guns; know yourself and know the reasons that you are not reproducing. If you don’t want to talk about your personal life, don’t! You don’t owe anyone an explanation. We can’t do everything in our lives; we have to make choices about which path we choose.
In her essay, Of Woman Born, Adrienne Rich wrote about women overcoming the “mind-body split.” Men have always controlled women by forcing them into the motherhood/stay-at-home wife role. Some women like Mrs. Tashjian are fine with having that role, but not everyone has to do that. Rich advocates equal roles in parenting.
Until recently, women were expected to be the housewives at home with the children. The women who had jobs only did things like secretarial work or teaching or nursing. We have come a long way, but women who defy these gender roles are still being ridiculed.
Here is the end to Mrs. Tashjian’s ridiculous blog post:
“But what you’re really saying is that you’re an island, the only one worth serving, that your offspring are not worth your blood, sweat and tears. Which is your call to make. Just make sure you find something that is worth it. Because blood, sweat and tears? That’s what life is all about.”
I’m glad Tashjian enjoys her children, but not all of us have to sacrifice anything to be happy. As women, we can and should be able to do anything we want to without these negative comments. We are definitely not destroying society, either.
This was originally published on Liberal America on May 8, 2016.
Since today is Mother’s Day, I would like to share with you some reasons why many of us Millennials do NOT want children. This is becoming a trend among my generation. According to data from the Urban Institute, birth rates for 20-something women have declined fifteen percent from 2007 to 2012.
For whatever reasons, we face all kinds of name-calling and stigma. I wrote about one woman blogger I came across who said child-free women are causing the“deterioration” of society. Mic presented their reasons women choose not to have kids, here are some of those:
1. Kids Are F**king Expensive!
It starts with the medical bills from giving birth, and it never ends. First, there are diapers and toys and clothes and food. There are the various expenses around schooling (lunches, field trips, and others). There is the time that parents take off work to deal with their little brats. Us child-free workers are supposed to be able to work all the time. The Mic author says that many Millennials called out the expense of their own student loans as a reason not to have little ones. The cost of college just keeps going up. Some of us can barely afford our own living expenses, we don’t need little ones to pay for as well. I definitely would not want to bring a child into the mix.
2. Passing Down Mental Health Issues
This is a big one. There are over 40 million people in the United States dealing with various mental health issues. These diseases usually strike in the late teens up to early twenties. However, they can potentially strike at any age, and they are serious sh*t. Getting stabilized and diagnosed can be a long, difficult process. This is one of the main reasons I decided not to have children. I would not want to put a child through the hell that is the life-long struggle with mental illness. The Mic author says having these issues makes many people wary of having children.
3. Population Control
We have over 7 billion people on the planet. We do not need to be bringing inmore people. While the population may not kill the planet, our overconsumption of natural resources will. As one woman put it in the Mic article:
“There are too many unwanted kids on the planet as is, so I don’t want to bring more into the world. I’m adopting if I ever decide I want kids. People don’t understand how bad having a large population is.”
Many people say us child-free folks are selfish, but many of us have thought about the effect on the environment. Additionally, I would not want to bring another unwanted child into the world.
4. Fertility Issues
This usually affects older women, but women of all ages can face issues that make them unable to conceive a child. Eleven percent of women under twenty-nine have reported fertility issues. I’ve never had this problem because I never wanted to conceive a child. I’ll let this lady quoted in the Mic article give her perspective:
“I can’t have kids naturally. It’s not a sad thing though. A lot of other women get upset when I tell them that, but I just say I really have no right to complain about one gift I didn’t receive when I have been given so many to begin with.”
5. Birthing Babies Screws Up Your Body
Yes, we all know this. Going through pregnancy and giving birth does a number on your body. It can cause a multitude of problems. Also, the fluids and the dilating of lady parts are totally gross. Yes, everybody says, “it’s the miracle of life.” Well, I don’t care! It’s uber gross! The idea of giving birth is absolutely frightening to me. I may not have a great body, but I’m keeping it the way it is. Also, the majorly excruciating pain is a major deal breaker. One person quoted by Mic said it “squicked” her out. That’s a good description of that feeling.
6. Having Kids Adds Pressure To Make Good Choices
If you have children, it forces you to be even MORE responsible for your choices. It puts major pressure on every move you make. You have another life to consider when making plans for your life. I would totally screw up a kid. I’m totally mean and selfish. I don’t want to share my life with a little one unless they have paws and fur. As some ladies quoted by Mic put it:
“It overwhelms me to think that there would be a tiny little person growing inside of me, depending on me to make healthy choices.”
“I might fuck them up with horrible parenting.”
7. Not All Women Have Maternal Instincts
People seem to think that every adult woman automatically wants children. Many perceive it as a right of passage, and they treat you like a child if you don’t want to have them. I guess some parents may miss the freedom to do whatever they want, but don’t put your regret on us. Not every woman feels like her “biological clock” is ticking. I personally really don’t like kids. I’m that person in a restaurant that sighs and rolls their eyes when a kid is being noisy. Mic mentioned comedian Margaret Cho who had my favorite answer for this, she said she “ovulates sand”when she talked about her lack of desire for procreation. Foregoing having kids is a perfectly valid life choice, people!
8. The World Isn’t A Nice Place
Our world is full of jerks! Everywhere we turn, there are mean people. Many bad things are happening. Some of us just don’t want to force a child to live right now. We have an orange, gerbil-wearing, reality TV host running for president! There are terrorist attacks and climate change and many other bad things going on. As one person quoted by Mic aptly put it:
“Honestly our society is kind of f*cked up; I don’t need to send someone out into that.”
9. Some Women Want Careers Instead
Mic mentioned the belief held my many women saying “you can have it all;” many believe you can have both a job and a family and balance it perfectly. There are some heroic women that can balance work and children. But, I refuse to do that. I would prefer to have a successful career. Luckily, women have the right to do one or the other or both. We can have mega careers, too. I would rather make a difference in the world with my work then be just a mom. There is new research that suggests that women can’t really “have it all.” Mic mentioned that around forty percent of women polled in a New York Times survey said that work gets in the way of family time often. I do realize being a parent means putting the kid first, and I just can’t do that. Frankly, I don’t want to do that. Women have the freedom now to be anything we want to be. For some of us, the title of mom just doesn’t fit into that equation.
10. Children Don’t Fit Into Every Lifestyle
There are some of us that like our lives just the way they are. Kid’s tend to disrupt your life. I personally love working from home. Having to take care of a kid AND getting work done would drive me insane! I have absolutely ZERO desire to play with a kid all day. I would also love to travel when I have the money. Some people love to travel often, and that is much easier to do when you aren’t burdened with kids. This quote that Mic used sums up my feelings perfectly (also f*ckton is my favorite unit of measurement):
“I don’t want kids because they’re a f*ckton of work.”
11. Finally…We Shouldn’t Need To Explain Our Personal Life Choices
Mic summed up the entire argument perfectly with this last point. Yes, you may think we are missing out on the “joys” of having a family. You may call us selfish! I will agree on that point. I’m totally selfish! That’s one of the many reasons I got myself fixed. “I don’t want to,” should be enough reason. We really shouldn’t have to explain ourselves. You moms would probably be offended if we started grilling you about why you had kids. So, don’t do it to us! Not having children doesn’t make me less of a woman. My body, my choice!
This was originally published on July 4, 2016, on Liberal America.
Deciding whether or not to have children is a very important decision in a woman’s life. Either way, you will be judged for it. Being child free, I get all kinds of judgemental comments from women who want or have children.
Many women are waiting longer to have children. The percentage of women without children has risen from 1 in 10 in 1976 to 1 in 5.
Some women say this decision should be private and is no one else’s business. However, evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa disagrees. He published a study that looked at childless women.
He found that intelligence is highly inheritable. He said:
“General intelligence is known to be highly heritable … and the genes that influence general intelligence are thought to be located on the X chromosomes … It means that boys inherit their general intelligence from their mothers only, while girls inherit their general intelligence from their mothers and from their fathers.”
There are many factors that contribute to a child’s intelligence. A John’s Hopkinsstudy said that children who grew up with government assistance may be smarter because their parents could buy things to educate the child.
Kanazawa also said that with every 15 IQ points a woman has, her desire to have children drops 25-percent.
The decrease in women having children could also be caused by a drop in societal pressure to have children. We don’t expect everyone to get married and settle down. Women with advanced degrees are less likely to have children.
There are many other reasons that young women are having less children. Children are also expensive; many people don’t feel that they are in a good financial place for children. Those of us with college degrees are drowning in student loans, so that makes many women unable to afford to have children.
This may seem harsh, but we also need to look at the issue of population control. Our population is around 7 billion now, and there are unwanted babies everywhere. Also, some women want to focus on their careers, and we have the freedom to do that.
This debate has turned into a bit of a culture war. Many people on either side of the issue are staunchly defending their side. Child free women often getcomments like:
“You don’t know what you’re missing.”
“I want grandkids.”
“You’re going to regret it.”
I think there’s a double standard here. Parents somehow feel like those comments are allowed, but no one would dare ask a parent if they regret it. Very few people tell a pregnant woman that she will regret it.
In April, I came across an article from mommy blogger, Brit Tashjian, saying that child free women are causing a deterioration of society. Here is a taste of her bigoted anti-feminism:
“That’s a huge step for social progress. But I’m afraid it’s taken us in the wrong direction. The reasons these women are touting — sacrificing sleep, money and time, to name a few — don’t defend a woman’s right to be childless, they defend a woman’s right to be selfish. And this push for preserving “self” above all else takes us down a dangerous path — one that’s not particularly safe for the individual and one that will surely lead to deterioration for society as a whole. We live in a culture where personal freedom and comfort have gone from privileges to our top priorities. We’ve long lost the beauty of sacrifice.”
Some parents seem to think that the childfree don’t have any responsibilities. There are other responsibilities in the world besides children. We have pets. We have careers. We don’t have to have a family to be fulfilled.
Today is going to be awesome (at least for some of us). It is International Childfree Day. For all of my peeps without children, keep being awesome. Enjoy a drink or do anything you want to because we don't have children to deal with.
According to the International Childfree Day website, they have nominated a Childfree Man and a Childfree Woman of the year.
The Childfree Woman of the Year is Crystal Money:
She works with the Kennesaw State University and the Siegel Institute for Leadership, Ethics, and Character. She has been devoted to making a childfree lifestyle more socially acceptable. She fought with a doctor to get the sterilization procedure she wanted.
"Being childfree is such a monumental part of my life. What makes me a great candidate for the Childfree Woman of the Year is my perseverance in living my life the way I want, and breaking the chains of expectations coming from a rural North Georgia town. Since I turned 16 years old, my father has been asking me when I was going to give him his 'grandbabies,' and much to his dismay, I have always replied with 'never.'"
The Childfree Man of the Year is Vincent Ciaccio:
This cool dude just finished a dissertation on stereotypes regarding childfree people in comparison with parents. He has been on the radio, in magazines, and in newspapers talking about it. He also works with non-profits for veterans and for eye research.
Everyone, we can enjoy our childfree lives.