This was originally published on Off The Main Page on March 20, 2017.
The White House appliances see many things. President Obama didn’t need to be spied on, but President Donald Trump is doing shady things.
The White House break rooms see all. Kellyanne Conway told on the microwaves, so now the coffee maker and the toaster have taken over surveillance of the President.
The microwave was glad to leave and not have to see the Orange Menace in his bathrobe anymore. It could only heat up so many chicken nuggets and Big Macs. Also, that one Palin lady couldn’t spell or pronounce microwave.
The coffee maker has seen some stuff as well. Donald Trump can’t even pronounce or spell espresso, yet alone actually make one. He makes anyone who is standing near it make it for him. He claims he is in a hurry every time. The coffee maker also has to deal with this Russian guy, and there’s this weird vodka smell in the coffee is.
The poor toaster has to deal with so much. It toasts bread and nasty McDonald’s buns for the president. Those burgers can smell bad to a toaster that is used to making just bread.
Of course, the bread has changed recently. The bags say “BK” on them, and the president grumbles something about a tweet when he heats them up. I guess McDonald’s pissed him off.